Martin Funk: Come and get your breakfast

“Old William Lawson, whose farm lay adjoining, had some difficulty with old man Funk, and come over to whip the old man. It was early in the morning, before breakfast, when Mr. Lawson called on old Mr. Funk and told him to come out into the yard, he wanted to whip him. Mr. Funk told him to come and get breakfast, and he would accommodate him with a fight if he insisted on it. So Mr. Funk sat down to the table and ate a hearty breakfast. He then went out and told Mr. Lawson, that, if nothing but a fight would do him, he was ready. They stripped themselves of all but their pantaloons, as was the custom of that day, and went into it. Mr. Funk soon made Mr. Lawson cry out enough.

“While they were putting their clothes and washing themselves, Mr. Funk says: ‘I told you that you had better take some breakfast before commencing a big job. You see now how you come out?.’

“Mr. Funk was reputed a very stout man in his day. It was said that he could take a barrel of whiskey by the two ends and lift it to his head and drink out of the bunghole as easy as another man could drink out of a jug.” 1

Artwork: Wandering Appalachia Copyright 2020

  1. Bannon, H. T. (1927). Stories old and often told, being chronicles of Scioto County, Ohio. Baltimore: Waverly Press.

(3) Comments

  1. R Duncan says:

    Bannon had some good stories.

    1. Eli Allen

      Yes he did!

  2. Nick Basham says:

    Eli, Mr. Funk is my 3rd great grandfather! Thanks for posting!!

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